Child, Thou Art Loosed
hiding under the white table in daddy’s office knees cushed up under the chin leaning forward towards the little tv set hands hovering over the dusty buttons with the sound turned down low and the door not all the way closed cause it’d suspicious but not all the way opened so you can hear someone coming and change the channel before it was too late before you got found out
and the story of michelle making the house only to abandon it already has an ending
you’re just late on the come up.
michelle’s been locked in the violence long before demon or human or both tricked her into the closet and threw away the key.
there really is no way around this.
you’re looking for any kind of exit any kind of weapon and what you come up with is a barbie and a broken crown
you always thought those would protect you would make you
safe cause dolls make you god and everyone’s eyes are on you when you sit on the throne but it turns out that play pretend doesn’t unmute too big hands and fear don’t make people brave
Jesus had His hope bloodied when He was thrown onto that cross for all to bear witness to and God Himself couldn’t
even stay to watch
if you had paid attention in sunday school you would know that
you’re already putting on your church
best and michelle’s jail jump suit is too big around the wrists but you could monster into it
you have already been loosed upon the world and have come back damned
little black girl
that saw white people call on white saviors (Jesus or Santa Claus)
and everyone came to their rescue. little black girl
that found out there was no white in her so there was nothing to be saved.
little black girl
who kissed white rose in the bathroom
hoping her good would smudge into your skin little black girl
who cried trying to apologize when the teacher said
nothing.
but standing in front of her
you knew she would have to call home,
tell your grandfather or your mother or your everyone
about how you love wrong and you are unforgivable and they would--
oh.
ive got to change the channel now.
they’re coming.
hiding under the white table in daddy’s office knees cushed up under the chin leaning forward towards the little tv set hands hovering over the dusty buttons with the sound turned down low and the door not all the way closed cause it’d suspicious but not all the way opened so you can hear someone coming and change the channel before it was too late before you got found out
and the story of michelle making the house only to abandon it already has an ending
you’re just late on the come up.
michelle’s been locked in the violence long before demon or human or both tricked her into the closet and threw away the key.
there really is no way around this.
you’re looking for any kind of exit any kind of weapon and what you come up with is a barbie and a broken crown
you always thought those would protect you would make you
safe cause dolls make you god and everyone’s eyes are on you when you sit on the throne but it turns out that play pretend doesn’t unmute too big hands and fear don’t make people brave
Jesus had His hope bloodied when He was thrown onto that cross for all to bear witness to and God Himself couldn’t
even stay to watch
if you had paid attention in sunday school you would know that
you’re already putting on your church
best and michelle’s jail jump suit is too big around the wrists but you could monster into it
you have already been loosed upon the world and have come back damned
little black girl
that saw white people call on white saviors (Jesus or Santa Claus)
and everyone came to their rescue. little black girl
that found out there was no white in her so there was nothing to be saved.
little black girl
who kissed white rose in the bathroom
hoping her good would smudge into your skin little black girl
who cried trying to apologize when the teacher said
nothing.
but standing in front of her
you knew she would have to call home,
tell your grandfather or your mother or your everyone
about how you love wrong and you are unforgivable and they would--
oh.
ive got to change the channel now.
they’re coming.
A. Tony Jerome is a queer black creator based on the East Coast. They've been featured in wusgood.black, Glass: Poetry, and Up the Staircase Quarterly among others. They currently work for 365 Days of Lesbian, Monstering Mag, Winter Tangerine Review, and Voicemail Poems. They are a 2015 Pink Door Fellow and 2016 LAMBDA Literary Young Adult Fiction Fellow. More can be found at lexleecom.wordpress.com.