Dynas Johnson
minecraft notes # auto-generator of origins
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auto-generator of origins i’m afraid of getting lost [W] rn i carve a bridge through the land and over the lakes watching the blocks disappear and reappear somewhere else according to my placements [A] irl i’m afraid of being displaced my old home was an enclave sunken into a mountain i was too nervous to travel far but [W] i planted some wheat and set aside my real life agonies until a little zombie reminded me that games are often too places of loss and so home was stripped from me in unexpected death [A] disappearing red red screen opening my eyes to midnight far from home and surrounded by howling several deaths and world-binding editing later the stars bobbing like cheerios in dark milk i plucked myself up from the dirt and hid myself then ran just ran home [A] gone this world’s ever expanding if you’re not careful you’ll never find your way back [D] irl i’m lost i’m guilty about the weight of my fork between my teeth i’m guilty that i can’t see my little sisters because i’ve been living in a different covid pod and what if i’m asymptomatic? i’m guilty that i’m still jobless with college debt suffocating me under gravel will the air ever feel again? [S] feel like warmth like sunflowers like light in my palm when i’m holding a friend’s hand when will i be able to see their face irl [D] i’m crying while listening to lofi and drinking chocolate milk because i don’t feel like eating and there’s snow falling outside my window and most of my clothes are still at home because i feel too guilty to ask my parents to drive my stuff over if i can’t go back home with them so i’ve been wearing the same several outfits though i’m not going anywhere so my fits stay in the closet while my pajamas get worn thin irl [D] i dance around my room and pretend that it’s a sleepover eat candy with my roommates and listen to them talk about new game drops but when they mention holiday unplans i stare at the ceiling imagining a canopy of trees and a scenario where i’m not disappointing anyone the way i’m disappointing myself [DDDDD] irl i’m crying because this generator of origins can’t replace home i’ve built a new one temporarily [S] i want to find my old one i want to see if it’s still there rn [WASD]i’m afraid to die because respawning isn’t always a second chance |
Dynas Johnson was the vice president and an editor for SONKU, a university-founded organization for BIPOC creatives. She has poems in Vagabond City Lit, Sea Foam Mag, Memoir Mixtapes, Mixed Mag, The Aurora Journal, and others. Dynas’ micro-chap, “living in august”, is forthcoming as a part of Ghost City Press’s Summer Series. Right now she’s very into indie, funk, playing Minecraft, and watching craft videos on YouTube. Find her at https://dynasjohnson.wixsite.com/dynasthepoet or on Twitter @Dynasthepoet.