ROBBIE Q. TELFER
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Tossed Salad, Scrambled Eggs
Frasier was filmed before a live studio audience but at the end of each episode the audience was murdered horribly and fed raw to the cast. Roz would roll around in the meats. That British lady would eat so much she would have to get a full body transplant, every episode. Kelsey Grammer would pretend to eat loudly but just rifle through the shredded clothes and purses of the former laughers keeping the money but never finding the Ruby of Zirzeeq. Old Grandpa Frasier would use his cane as a bludgeon to prechew the people. Niles, the famous vegan, would ask permission of each audience member morsel if he could please shake them between his teeth like a dog killing a squirrel, the dog finally catching that god damn squirrel. |
if there’s something weird and it DO look good
It’s a short video
like 20 seconds
Iris is in her black onesie
sitting up on her own
but barely
The Ghostbusters song is playing
and she’s into it
She puts her hands up
like she’s hula hooping
She smiles
And for the first time in her life
She dances
Which is to say
she feels music in her
little body
she feels music in her
mitochondria who in turn
compel her to shimmy
for the sake
of the shimmy
No one asked her to do this
This isn’t mentioned in the AAP’s guidebook of
developmental milestones
She imbibes the timeless melodies
of Ray Parker, Jr. and they
activate her dancing bones
they will her waggle
And it’s right. It’s the right thing to do.
It’s a short video
like 20 seconds
Iris is in her black onesie
sitting up on her own
but barely
The Ghostbusters song is playing
and she’s into it
She puts her hands up
like she’s hula hooping
She smiles
And for the first time in her life
She dances
Which is to say
she feels music in her
little body
she feels music in her
mitochondria who in turn
compel her to shimmy
for the sake
of the shimmy
No one asked her to do this
This isn’t mentioned in the AAP’s guidebook of
developmental milestones
She imbibes the timeless melodies
of Ray Parker, Jr. and they
activate her dancing bones
they will her waggle
And it’s right. It’s the right thing to do.
Robbie Q. Telfer has performed and taught in hundreds of venues and institutions around the world. A co-founder of the Encyclopedia Show, he's been an individual finalist at the National Poetry Slam and has a collection from Write Bloody Publishing. He is currently an environmental educator at The Morton Arboretum outside of Chicago and he facilitates ai-bi-weekly, online poetry writing workshop called "More of a Comment Than a Question."